On our flight over to Croatia, my friend Jeff decided that we should all watch Planet Earth during dinner. Now, Jeff is the kind of guy who is a 30 something, athletic, all-American version of Bill Maher- one of those assholes who you can't dislike. Jeff is that friend who will suggest a group Halloween theme, and then call dibs on the sluttiest costume. Last year our theme was "movies", I went as Max from Where the Wild Things Are, he went as a Spartan warrior from 300.
While we were watching Planet Earth, Jeff turns to me and asks, "So how is your 11mpg gas guzzler?" To which I responded, "How is your Porsche Cayenne Turbo?" I know- princess fight. But the thing is, Jeff is such an asshat that to retain his moral high-ground, after he bought his SUV, he bought a Toyota Prius. The only time I've ever seen him drive it has been to pick up the Cameron Diaz celebrity types who love the environment. If you know me, you'd know that I hate Prius drivers who put themselves on a moral high-ground.
My argument against it is this: every decision we make in our purchases says something about the way we want to present ourselves. That's the key to being a great marketer. Apple knows that people who buy their MacBooks and iPhones have a message they want to send out that they're "youthful, creative, and hip". Your voice is: "It doesn't matter that the iPhone doesn't have a lot of core features, it's sooo fresh and outside-the-box and so am I." The most important aspect of Apple's production development doesn't rely on them being technologically advanced-- it's that the products are instantly recognizable. Starbucks, the makers of the most overrated coffees in the world, knows that their iconic cups are the image that aspiring fashionistas absolutely need, so every year around fashion week, PR interns will wait half an hour for a cup of whatever pretentious blend is sold to ironically look the part of a productive, overworked fashion insider.
Likewise, people who buy the Prius are saying "I care." It doesn't matter that the electricity powering the cars most likely comes from charcoal powered stations that contribute more to greenhouse gas emissions than an average purely gas powered vehicle does. No one really buys a Prius for it's performance, you don't hear the commercials tauting the superior handling or razor sharp road response, we only see cartoonish drawings of a happy earth. And it's just so superficial. In my Corporate Social Responsibility class, we learned that the assembly factories that paint the Prius in Japan contribute more pollution than the entire production and assembly operation of Ford and GM combined (loopholed by the Kyoto Protocol). So in theory, each Prius contributes equal or greater pollution than a F150 pickup truck over the life of the vehicle. The real message I see every time a self-righteous Prius driver pats themselves on the back is "I care to look like I care".
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Upon landing, Jeff had his assistant get rid of his Prius.
You live to see another day, Polar Bears.
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