I grew up in a very conservative small town in Texas of predominantly Christian/Catholic white people. I remember lonely Sunday's where all my friends would be away at Church while I skimmed through the Televangelist broadcasts on TV as I did my weekend homework, I remember in 3rd grade when Anna Graham- my first crush, was told off by our teacher Mrs.Bye for not reciting the Pledge of Allegiance since she was British by citizenship, I also remember how confused I was at not having a religious identity-- and to be honest, there were moments when I was younger that I wanted to fit in and join a Church to know what everyone was going on about.
But I couldn't. The entire concept of Heaven and Hell made no sense to me. How could we have an absolute perfection and an absolute evil place to go? Absolute right and Absolute wrong does not exist. And I'm not sure if the concept of perfection and evil mean the same thing for everyone. I'm also not sure I see the appeal of Eternal existence in Heaven and Hell-- it seems rather lofty of a prospect and shortsighted. We have people saying they don't care to live forever on Earth and yet struggle to get into the good graces of God to make it into eternal acceptance in Heaven.
I also have a hard time accepting that Jesus was real or rather if he was truly like the person described in the Bible. My simple logic is this, in China, it is possible to trace the bloodline, the burial location, and the ancestors of the great philosopher Confucius- who lived before Jesus. Why is it that the most popular and high profile man in the Western world cannot be PROVEN to have existed? Why don't we know any of his other family and what they did since his death and what relatives he has? Why don't we know anything about his burial place, old artifacts belonging to him or his exact image? Why is it that his story is synonymous with stories from Egypt and Israel about a chosen one visited by three men, who ends up being the Messiah-- stories of which, existed by him? He simply isn't real. And the fact is, if he were real-- he'd most likely be arrested in modern times since he'd be wearing a cloak, look like any other Middle-Eastern, and go about talking about the "next-coming"-- imagine THAT scene at the airport.
I also think it's very self-important to think that we're 'special'- that the afterlife exists for us. After all, religion is primarily defined by the THEORY of what happens AFTER you die. If we all knew EXACTLY what will happen, there wouldn't be a need for religion-- think about it: with all your questions answered, would you need to have a Priest telling you how to go about your day? Here's why I think it's absurd to think something exists out there for us. We're ultimately biological organisms, cellular life forms if you will. We're not exempt from any of nature's laws, we're structurally similar to monkeys, we have the same basic instincts of survival, mating, and desires as other animals. So when a bacteria dies-- is there a bacteria heaven? How about when a fly dies? Does it's 'soul' go to Heaven? How about when your beloved dog dies? Heaven? Is it harder to tell with a dog simply because you love them and want to think they'd go to heaven? Now how about when a human dies? It seems that human heaven is the lie you tell to yourself for comfort, similar to how you convince a child their deceased dog is now in doggy heaven-- we all know, deep down, this is absurd. And when I speak with my friends who are religious and question them-- I always notice that they will create their own theories on why their religion works. All I can say is, when you start supporting a theory with another theory, you're just piling on the bullshit.
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Here's why it matters to me: my rights are being denied as a result of these beliefs that some people have. I'm fine with people believing whatever they want to, since it is the land of the free-- but it shouldn't have to interfere with my rights. It seems that people against Same-Sex marriage believe it is ungodly and that the Bible is strictly against it. Now- when someone's only answer to an intelligent question is "The Bible says so"-- it greatly bothers me. It's pretty much a way to get out of the conclusion of saying "yeah it's not logical, I just don't like it." The Bible is a 2000 something year old book written by men seeking control of the world through religion. None of the events have been shown to be real, and yet we start wars, we allow prejudice, and we allow discrimination because of it. The irony is- that is the opposite of God's message of love and understanding for ALL his children. The Bible also supports creationism over evolution, and a host of other obsolete ideals that have been proven to be false. And people who say God hates Gay's, also fail to mention he also hates: adulterers, divorcees, shrimp (apparently he's picky), and a slew of other people. And yet with the divorce rate as high as 50%-- I don't see the Church holding protests over people's right to divorces.
And there are some who think being Gay is a choice. Let me just say.. as a minority in more than one respect, this could not be a more ignorant statement. I didn't choose to be the way I am, I know that how I am has essentially made life more difficult for me. But just like my race, this isn't something I can change. I've struggled for years to understand why I am the way I am, but I've come to realize that I'm as dysfunctional and normal as the next person. To be completely honest, while I'm not ashamed of who I am, if I had a choice I wouldn't choose to like someone of the same gender-- I know of the challenges, the fear, and the repercussions. It kills me to read stories about kids who commit suicide because they think they're not worthy of love or that they somehow are less than others because of their sexual orientation. This isn't a choice, no one WANTS to choose the road less traveled. So to be honest, even if God truly does hate fags-- I really can't do anything about it than to hope there is a God who isn't as judgmental and will see me for the good and responsible decisions that I do make.
To those against same-sex marriage: God is not a scapegoat upon which your inner-prejudice can find a pedestal. People believe different things, people take from the Bible- the lessons they want to take, and people are free to live as they wish. This is not a Christian nation, or a Mormon nation-- yet I would never take away your rights just because I think organized religion is preposterous. What I want is to be your equal in this messed up world. All I'm saying is that in a legal system that is supposed to be inclusive of people from all walks of life, your God should have no say in the process.
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